It's the most normal feeling in the world, like breathing.
It has always existed, like God.
This splitting, this tearing, this schism of...
(me) (mind) (soul)
Forever turning, revolving, flip flopping, like the wheel of karma.
I'm living in a Salvador Dali painting and reminiscing about autumn drives
through Spearfish Canyon; brief flashing reflections of beauty, color,
and love, on the windows of a hellish roller coaster.
Like the song says: "I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in."
(breathe) (turn) (flip)
One minute knowing I am going home and everything will be the way it was.
(breathe) (turn) (flop)
The next minute knowing I am going to rot and die in here.
(breathe) (turn) (flip)
A week of hearing a higher calling, of spreading the word and truth, helping
my fellow inmates to find peace.
(breathe) (turn) (flop)
A week of praying for a stroke, heart attack, falling asleep and not waking up.
A week's worth of altered children's prayer: "Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord
my soul to keep. I pray I die before I wake. I pray the Lord my soul to take."
(breathe) (turn) (flip)
A month of peacefully numb acceptance.
(breathe) (turn) (flop)
A month of dark imaginings every time a plane skims the roof of the prison,
wishing it was 100 feet lower so it would end my nightmare.
(breathe) (turn) (flip)
Knowing God has a plan for me and to stay faithful.
(breathe) (turn) (flop)
Knowing that if Satan offered me back my life in return for my soul,
I wouldn't hesitate to sign on the dotted line.
(breathe) (turn) (flip)
Waiting to wake up to find myself being held in my wife's loving arms.
(breathe) (turn) (flop)
Waiting to wake up to find myself being held by straps in a padded cell.
I can't remember feeling any different.
I can't imagine feeling any different.
Breathe, Turn, Flip, Flop
Schism
Contributor's Notes...
[He] grew up in South Dakota, both east and west river. He is married, with three beautiful children. He has not seen any of them for almost two years.
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