10/22/2007

8:30pm -- They hired a second person for the chapel today. I used to work it him in braille and is the closest thing I have to a friend in here. See... proof that God answers prayers. Not only do I [not] have to worry about the stress of doing everything by myself, but I also get to work along with someone I can tolerate. I also got a book in the mail today. "Dharma In Hell The Prison Writings of Fleet Maull" by Fleet Maull. So overall a pretty good day, right? NO I know I suffer from depression. That it is not just a "bad day" environmental thing, because I feel so low, hopeless, like crying. It is a chemical thing also. I've been to the mental counselor three times and he tells me that it is normal, whatever. I don't know what to do.

11:30pm -- I've just read the first 85 pages of 125 of Paul Fleet's Dharma In Hell. Since being locked up I have never read a more accurate, dead-on, truthful account of prison and the inmate. Every word, sentence, paragraph describing jail, prison, guards, inmates, ?[proceet], ?[ures,] economy, hostility, depression, all of it is exactly the way it is here... the way that I have felt and continue to feel. Anybody wanting to know what prison is like and what I feel, should get this book immediately. It's so accurate it is spooky.