4/19/2008

This week went fast. Scary fast. I guess the days, weeks, years seem to run together when you do the same thing day in and day out. Spoke to my brother a few days ago. I've been replaying some of the conversation I had with my mother when she was here last week. She said something about certain relatives of mine who want to visit or write me. I think that is about the cruelest thing a person could do to my mother. Pay her kindness and warmth when she visits, make her promises and give her false hopes that they care about me. Lip service is just a fancy word for lying. The relatives and friends that have written, or spoken with me and given true comfort to my brother, mother and father are truly walking the path. Anyone doing the other is just causing more harm than good. It doesn't do so much harm to me because I'm used to it. I see the pain on people's face everyday. I hear the cries every night. The wives leaving, the parents abandoning, the friends and family members who write off the inmate. You want to find out who really loves you, really cares? Go to prison, you find out fast. But like I said it doesn't really bother me, I think it is doubly cruel to string along others that still have hope like my mother and brother. I'm not talking about people who give general comfort to them that I don't know. I'm talking about my own flesh and blood relatives that give lip service and comfort only when she visits and the go back to living their "Christian" lives. I know better Christians here in prison, I see better examples of living like Christ for God than I see in my own family. So I would only ask them to stop and leave them with examples of some scripture. I don't need to name them, they know who they are.

Psalm 26:4-5;
Mathew 23:28;
Peter 2:1;
Luke 6:42

I do not judge them, for who am I to judge anyone. I pray and weep and am truly frightened for them. I rejoice and praise God in thanks to the inmate who has confessed and reported and walks the true path in both word and deed. I read and reread Matthew 7:15-23 and weep for those that walk that path for they are truly lost and think they are saved.