7/06/08

Wow. I haven't written in my "journal" for awhile. I guess that is what happens when there is not much going on. My best friend T comes to visit every weekend. I haven't seen E in about a month now. My aunt from another state came to visit and it was wonderful but nothing I feel like sharing here. (Those are my memories to keep.) I have some more books on the way although I don't know why wince I have plenty to read to begin with. It's an addiction,k this book collecting. I had a poem published in a prison ministry booklet. I submitted another to Quiet Mountain Essays but I haven't heard back yet. I've been writing some more but nothing is edited or refined. I started coloring the mandala that I created more than 8 months ago. I continue with my theology studies, my religious readings and my fantasy/sci-fi readings. It honestly alternates to whatever my mood for the day is. I still watch my shows: The Office, My Name Is Earl, Bleach, Deathnote and various other anime. I still feel a strong urge to draw/paint/create but still too lazy to teach myself or practice. The same goes for the guitar I have in my cell. I still have my chapel job and am thankful for it because it is the only air-conditioned place in the prison, oh yeah, and the free coffee too. I recently redecorated my cork board where I gets to pin up my pictures. I took down all the pictures of my kids and ex-wife and other people I had hanging that aren't in my life anymore. I figured why torture myself any longer staring at them. The only people left up there are people who still are and are still in contact. The rest of the "pictures" are nature shots art I find interesting and religious materials. Well that's it for me. I wish everyone out there reading this a happy and safe 4th of July weekend.

Beauty Let Down

Staring out my cell door through the bars
Gazing out the thick cubed security glass
I lose myself in the beauty of an orange sunset
Only to realize it's the sodium security light, just come one.
A trick of the light;
A trick on my slight.
With a sigh, I go back to reading.

Longing

In a world of concrete walls, floors and walkways, my feet ache to feel a massaging walk in cool spongy thick emerald fields of fragrant grass. I long to dip my hands into crystal cool waters and have rivulets tickling me all the way down to my elbows.

In a world of steel mesh and bars colored gray and concrete walls that are white-washed, my eyes thirst to drink in flawless blue skies deep enough to lose yourself in. I long to feast upon rolling hills of flowers every color of the rainbow and watch them sway, dance and bow in the breeze. I long to gaze upon snow-capped mountains that majestically defy time and stretch their grandeur to the heavens.

In a world filled constantly with lies, sarcasm, profanity and hatred, my ears strain to hear the whispering sighs of the wind moving through the trees, the soothing laughter of mountain streams and the quiet meditative sounds of nature surrounding me.