2/13/2008 time?

Time? Don't know. Been sitting, reflecting. I think it's officially 2/14, but I'm too lazy to walk 2 feet to look at the time on my radio. Painful reflecting and then a tiny voice telling me to write it out. Valentines day, remembering my 2nd wife, soon to be ex-wife. Chest crushing, gut turning regret. Better to have loved and lost, than not to have loved at all, blah, blah, blah. Cliche, overused, but bitterly, painfully true, though I realize it too late. Thinking about her smile, her laugh, her smell. The way her hair used to cascade around my face when she was leaning over to kiss me. Hair so thick and beautiful no light could penetrate the private veiled universe of just her face and mine, sharing the same breath, her scent dulling all my senses. Hair so thick that when I would run my fingers through it my short sausage fingers wouldn't/couldn't poke out the other side! :-) Remembering how she stood by my side through all my faults, all my crap, always forgiving, always. I think she must have given me 1001 chances to make things better/right. If ow only there would be, could be 1002. She'll say that I just want what I can't have, that i never really loved her, that it is prison loneliness speaking. While the prison loneliness makes my hindsight mistakes and longing more painfully acute, know this: I will always lover her and will always regard her as my true love, the only persona I actually fell in love with. What she was to me, I hope and pray she will be to others in the future. I wish for only her happiness and to have that amazing love returned to her. She deserves it.